dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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