fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
