Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
