so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
