she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
