How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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