But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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