Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
