You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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