shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
