Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
