Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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