Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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