i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
