Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
