I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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