I'll bet she douches with gravy.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
