The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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