how hairy? two words: wookie tits
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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