i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
