dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
