i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
