im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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