i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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