he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
