You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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