i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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