i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
