I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Randomize
