So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
