I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
