I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
