Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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