So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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