Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
