never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
