I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
