Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
