i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
