im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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