Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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