she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This toilet bowl is my home.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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