Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
