At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
