I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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