so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
