that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
