Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
