please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
