i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
