I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
